WEEK 7

[parasomniacs]

Week 7

Monday - Thursday

[Despite earnest intentions to the contrary, last week had a business-as-usual murder trial. Well, you may not all act noble, but you'll be treated like royalty on this new floor. ...Except by Sheepy, who is still bugging you when you're awake. The strange distortions appear in the air before she shows up before everyone.]

Goooood morning! Sleep well? We unlocked the 8th floor, so make sure you move in and get cozy! The motive's on the way and it's one of my favorites! Have fun~

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[devilsnight]

[At the very least he tried really hard to not do anything that was going to result in 1. cracking your ribs or 2. centering anything directly on your chest that you couldn't block, because that does not strike him as a good idea right now. But yes, nothing is broken and nobody's concussed, so we're all good here.]

Likewise. Absolutely.

[Hoooooly shit let him catch his breath, he's kind of laughing a bit to himself under his breath again because fighting always kind of works him up a little, but it's in a good way, at least.]

[scythegun]

[...you'd be surprised at how much punishment this man can take. The pros of being a Tales boss character...???]

I'm pleased to see I could entertain you, at least! You're going to enjoy fighting monsters, I can promise you that much!

[IT'S LIKE THIS LITERALLY ALL DAY, TOP DOLLAR WILL NEVER SIT AGAIN]

[devilsnight]

[Well, yes, but we're also dealing with the cons of being in murderhotel, where we can all very easily die by tripping and eating absolute shit down the stairs.]

And that, my friend, is the best goddamn news I've heard all day.

[HE IS GOING TO JUST BE VIBRATING ALL THE TIME, IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT]

[scythegun]

I knew you'd appreciate it! I'd also like to see what you can do with a weapon similar to mine, so I'll have an order put in for one once we're home!

[Because this sort of aggressive optimism is way easier than dealing with all of the dead people or Hazama or the motive or anything else that is slowly causing his life to spiral out of control.]

[devilsnight]

No shit, huh?

[Well, now you have his attention.]

We really are gonna have to talk weapons someday, then - I'm curious about what you guys've actually got.

[scythegun]

Quite a few things, though transform weapons are the ones I think you'll find most interesting. There are bows that can turn into knives, but I think you'd prefer the sword-and-gun combination Droite and Gauche use. But if you want something specific I'm sure it wouldn't be too tricky to create!

[just pick like, four weapons you want and maybe we can shove them all into one, IT'LL PROBABLY WORK]

[devilsnight]

You do not want to hand me that kind of power.

[YOU ABSOLUTELY WANT TO HAND HIM THAT KIND OF POWER, IT'S GOING TO BE HILARIOUS.]

Swords and guns are primarily my thing, though - don't really have experience with anything else.

[...]

...Well, those and incendiary shit. Explosives and stuff. Ever jury-rigged a flamethrower? Because those are fun.

[scythegun]

...What's a flamethrower?

[WE'VE GOT MAGIC AND EXPLOSIVES BUT DOES VESPERIA HAVE FLAMETHROWERS, I DON'T THINK SO.]

[devilsnight]

A great man named George Carlin once said that the very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done."

It's exactly what it sounds like. Massive gun that shoots fire something like two hundred fifty feet, and those are just the portable ones. You can also make 'em out of larger equipment if you don't want to move them, those'll give you a fuckin' fireball at least nine feet across.

[scythegun]

That's incredible! With something like that you wouldn't have to rely on magic at all! You'll have to teach me how to make them!

[OH GOD DON'T GIVE YEAGER A FLAMETHROWER]

[devilsnight]

Oh, gladly.

[IN THE LAND OF MAGIC-USERS THE MAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A FLAMETHROWER ACTUALLY STANDS HALF A CHANCE, WHO KNEW]

Shamelessly and recklessly setting shit on fire was how I started gathering my guys to me. Burned down a solid third of goddamn Detroit that night and never looked back.

[scythegun]

That sounds incredible, I really am looking forward to seeing what you can do!

[devilsnight]

I'll just have to try not to disappoint you, then.

[so many people are going to die!]

...Thanks, by the way.

[scythegun]

[yuri and co are going to have to go beat up these dumbasses]

You're welcome. I thought that might be a good distraction for both of us!

[And boy was he right!!]

[devilsnight]

[on today's episode of World's Stupidest Boss Fights]

Good to see that I ended up being right a couple weeks ago - I ended up fighting you next time, instead of the trainers again.

[scythegun]

Oh, you're right! I hadn't even thought of that!

[WOW WAY TO CALL IT]

[devilsnight]

Probably for the better that way, to be honest - I didn't exactly appreciate the shorter one's thing for trying to kick me in the head.

[oh my god]

[scythegun]

Completely understandable! It certainly sounds like it was painful!

[devilsnight]

It wasn't too bad. Nothing was broken, nobody ended up with a concussion.

This was better, though.

[scythegun]

Of course it was! You got to challenge me!

[wow okay]

[devilsnight]

...Pretty sure you challenged me, actually.

[scythegun]

Eh, close enough, right?